In Pursuit

Today is my birthday! It is one of my favorite days of the year, I have no shame in saying that!

I have been reflecting a lot lately. Thinking about where I am and where I want to be. What I want to change and what I will have to do to get there.

I’m scared…or I get scared but I am always encourage by the fact that there is a plan and I have a purpose

So I refuse to be afraid, I pursue success

The idea of accomplishing goals and attaining the elusive idea of success is nerve racking. Committing yourself to pursue your goals is enough to make you not want to. I don’t know what happens to you but when I think about what I will have to do to reach my goals, I get scared. Not a fear type of scared but a nervousness in the pit of my stomach that makes me want to retreat.


I have often chosen to exhale and push on, but what is the thing that pushes me on? What helps me not to quit?

There are so many shows out right now that give people their one shot to fulfill their passions or dreams. People go to the auditions in throngs and we watch the shows religiously to see if they will be given their shot. We look for a glimpse of our success in their stories, we hear what they have been through and we identify because their pursuit of their passion and their success reminds us of ours…..maybe…..maybe they, maybe we, have it all wrong, is success really a one shot deal or is that an illusion?

If I could just do my thing for Diddy or if I just had the money to be able to….

We often relinquish control of our dreams making our goals hinge on someone else’s choices. We say that we can’t pursue our passion because of our job or that if we were just given a chance, we would “really make it.”

Success is not a matter of what you have done, can do or will do. It’s a perspective. A way of looking at your life and being content at your present stage while at the same time not being stagnant. Success changes from day to day dependent on your circumstance, but it is ultimately a matter of what you see.

I am a work in progress, working toward my purpose and goals. To me, I have achieved success. I am a true follower of Christ, an excellent wife and mother, a coach and a step dancer. I am living a passionate, fulfilled, successful life. I am not where I want to be, but I am moving…

I believe that what keeps me moving is my true self. The me that is waiting to be actualized, that thing that strives to be like my Daddy who is perfect. Some may not agree, but to me this is true. I know I will never attain His perfection but it is my job to try.…Maybe the desires I have are just the realest version of me trying to be actualized. I believe we have an inclination of who we are to be, or who we are in Gods eyes and this informs our desires and beliefs. Quite possibly that is why there is a disconnect between the me that doesn’t do what I believe in, and sometimes “what I don’t want to do” and the me that I believe I am.

Maybe it is really that the me that I believe I am is really the me that I am striving for. And the drive to make our beliefs and our actions line up is so that we can become the realest version of ourselves…. who God intended us to be.

Success is a mix of purpose, passion and effort. Not our purpose but Gods.