He likes me

For some reason, I’ve always wanted to preach on the train. Something about it really appeals to me and I simply feel like I could do better job. I sit and fantasize about what I would say and how I would say it. Making eye contact, hoping that the day I actually choose to do it, I would be wearing something presentable. Hoping that someone would have a life changing experience because of my masterful presentation of truth.

Every time someone starts on the train I imagine I could do it better and wonder if I should just do it….how crazy would that be?
“What he just said is true, but let me say it this way…..” Not gonna happen.

This guy standing on the train saying God knows what, and disturbing even my ride….how could this be a good thing?! He was talking about Jonah or something and then he began his wind down rant before he hopped out of our car and into the next.

He spoke about Gods love for us and how He changed his life and wants to change ours….I could dig it, I fully agree with it, but it made me wonder….

How would I approach this differently, what would I have to say to these people on their morning commute. They have probably heard it all before. I would probably get lumped in with all the others…

It made me think of the woman that I am. I’ve made a list of things that make up me before, so I will spare you that. What I really thought about were the hard parts of myself. The parts that I wrestle with labeling, and understanding.

The parts that I feel misunderstood about the most,
My humor
My interest
My judgments
My desire to be appreciated for what I give

Maybe seen as blunt and rude
Could be seen as nosey
Ridiculous standards even for myself
My selfishness

I have the hardest time accepting these parts and appreciating the good I get from them or the good they can indicate. I used to cry a lot over these parts, being misunderstood about them and wanting to change but not knowing how. I hated it mostly when people would say things about those parts in a negative way. My desire to change and hope that I could live with these parts were eclipsed by the “ you’re so nosey” or “ I’m not gonna talk to you because you are going to judge me.”

I wondered how these parts of me could relate to the people on the train. I sat and remembered something my Pastor said and something that God has said to me,

“ I like you”

He explained that it was so different from the understanding of His love, and it is.

The reality that He likes me, all of my sin, all of my flaws and hang-ups, and he enjoys me, wants to spend time with me, wants to know me, wants me to converse with Him and be associated with Him is humbling and drawing.

That truth has tremendous implications for my relationship with Him and the way I view myself. It is helping me to accept the parts that I often don’t like, because if He can, I can. Not that He doesn’t want me to become a better version of me and more like Him, but the fact that in spite of my current state He not only loves me, but He likes me.

That reality is changing my life daily.

I feel like if I preached on the train, that would be something I would try to get across. It may not be one of the traditional, fundamental truths, but it IS a game changer.