I wish

I wish

I had more compassion.
As I pass you on the platform with your head hung low, some sort of fluid by your feet. The skin of your back showing, you look like you’re in pain. I want to stop and inquire, but I cant.

I wish

I had more time.
Because right now I am on my way somewhere. I am always on my way somewhere really. I don’t have it in me to stop or be late. Essentially “ I have more important things to do” I am sure you won’t be here when I return though. There are parts of me that want to be spontaneous. Forget about what I have to do in the next ten minutes and tend to you, but….

I wish

I could stomach the stench.
Because where you have been and your state of living has left a foul one. Unbearable to me and most others that occupy this shared space. But really it’s not your fault because where are you supposed to shower or how are you supposed to take care of yourself? I imagine sitting down and being so jarred by the smell you wear that my response would do more harm than good. I imagine my good intentions coming off poorly as I gag or make a face.

I wish

I was kinder. That I could come down to your level.

I wish

I had more to give. Seems like a silly wish now, because I am sure you have the same wish. I feel like I don’t have enough and you really DON’T have enough. Without the means to buy food or shelter. My wish must really be an insult. I get mad too. Feeling like people who have more than me can’t understand my needs and here I am doing the same to you. I could give more. I could probably start with giving something at all.

Because I don’t. I don’t stop, or give, or pray. I think for a little, blog a little and keep it moving.

While you sit on a bench in the subway hunched over. While you dig in trash cans looking for a meal. While you humble yourself to ask for money.

I wish

That I will do more than wish and ride on the fumes of my last “community service”. That I will make time in my schedule to get over myself and see someone else. That I would take the time to stop and care. That I would do more than just think and write…..

Hold me to it.