I believe in them

I have a friend who consistently refers to me as a hood teacher.

I teach at six different schools in NY and from time to time I get a little distracted and might text, tweet or BBM...sad but true

Since her name calling though I have significantly cut down.

Either way this past week held extreme classes for me. I had a really good one and then one where I felt like the students were literally trying to kill me. Each one made me reflect on why I even bother...

Why do I do this?!?!

My answer is simple

" I believe in them"

Sometimes I run into teachers who have lost confidence in thier students because of their actions, once inspired but then ending up drained. A couple of months ago I met a teacher who I was so moved by that I had to write...my thoughts follow, and these are the thoughts and experiences that keep me going:

I met a teacher today who didn’t believe. She didn’t believe in her student’s ability to handle or perform the tasks that I would give them. Only four years on the job and her view of the kids was already tainted. Their behavior began to dictate what she would do with them and I felt her. I felt her desire to pass judgment and her inclination to look at the situation for what it is and act accordingly. But I’m not a realist, so I don’t think that way…

When I walk into a room I can sense what type of class it will be, what I do with that sense makes all the difference. If I let my emotions rule it will affect how I teach and thus how the students learn. It’s hard to avoid the downward spiral of emotional teaching. Believing that the kids need to learn what I have to offer while at the same time holding that they are unteachable is dangerous, but I’ve been there.

Angry at students, reacting and being affected by their words. Lacking the desire to teach and the motivation to challenge them because somewhere in my heart I felt like it wasn’t worth it. Wasn’t worth fighting through their attitudes and outside drama….but isn’t it?

“ Why are we doing this? I don’t get this. This is stupid” ….he annoyed the life out of me. He would come into class, complain, distract other students and not participate. He REALLY got under my skin. I would get so frustrated at times that I wanted to hit him, so I did....I wish

I had enough, I told my boss that I wanted him out of my class.

I deemed him unteachable.

My, boss spoke to him.

This kid immediately went from being the bane of my existence to being one of my best students. There was a shift in his behavior….

It’s a challenge, but I try to approach my kids and my classes like I have something to offer them and that they are teachable, because they are. They aggravate me, they annoy me, they seem like they don’t want to be there, but they are my kids. I have to be patient with them, and understand that there is more going on for them then what happens in my class. I try to not let what other people say or even how the child acts color what I think their potential is. I

t’s not easy but I try.

It was the second to last day of class and for the most part he hadn’t given me so much trouble, but today was different. At this point he was out of control and it seemed that he was on a special mission to push my buttons, and he did. I called his name and said something to the effect of

“ why are you so annoying?”

or

“you are so annoying”

either way it was BAD!

I immediately regretted it although it felt great to finally get it off my chest.
He looked angry, he was angry, I just watched.

Tears started to stream down his face…… It hurt me to my core.

The words that I said out of frustration to this fifth grader affected him, hurt him.

I called him over to me… “I am sorry that I spoke out of frustration, I was annoyed but did not mean to hurt your feelings. We as teachers are affected by what you do but that doesn’t excuse me speaking to you in that way. It was frustrating for me to see you go from one of my best students to being distracted and distracting. I know that you can do better. I need you to know that you can do better. I want you to focus and change your behavior.”

He nodded his head.

I will never forget those tears, the tears that fell because I passed judgment on this child and allowed my actions and words to reflect it.

My classes are generally good, but some are really difficult. Some of my students follow instructions and others fool around, but all of my students are excellent.

All of them have potential and they all deserve for someone to believe and invest in them.

Sometimes I have to take a couple minutes out to speak to students individually so that I can understand their behavior. I never regret it. I never regret letting them know that I care and I’m there because it always makes a difference, if not for them for me. In understanding their stories I am able to be patient and I believe that’s what they need.