We watched 2012 tonight and although the series of events were naturally highly unrealistic, the movie was jarring. Like all apocalyptic movies it made me reflect on the frailty of mankind and the mere blip of our existence. There was an anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, much like butterflies I have before I perform. Although now I wasn’t performing, just sitting and trying to soak in what I was seeing.
My mind was flooded by thoughts, and I was reminded of a video I watched two days ago.
I don’t really follow John Piper, except on twitter, but the other night Khalid and I watched three short clips from sermons he preached. I was moved strongly by one in particular that has been on my mind ever since.
“Jesus came into the world to save EVERYONE…..I want you in heaven with me” As John Piper erratically spoke, pretty much looking like an old crazy dude, I was moved.
Reminded of times that I pleaded with my friends and random people alike…
Reminded of how zealous I used to be in an effort to communicate the Truth that I’ve found….
Offending many but really just wanting them to hear that I cared.
More than that, God cared, still does care…
Trying to relay that it is not about our differences but rather about the reality that it’s a choice and there is nothing that separates us but a choice.
That being Chosen and the exclusivity of my beliefs really aren’t exclusive at all but rather just about choosing…
I’ve been told still that
“its not fair”
that
“I don’t want to serve a God like that”
that
“I guess we’ll just see what happens”
that
“your truth is your truth and mine is mine”
And my heart breaks….
I am more sure about this than any other thing in my life and the thought of my loved ones not choosing brings tears to my eyes and as I type my eyes are welling up and I feel it in the pit of my stomach because I am scared.
I have long left the days of pleading without a context. Now I build relationships.
but the plead and the fight is still in me….
I don’t pray for you as I should but I love you, and I will. Whether or not you think this truth is for you, I do, so I will plead and I will cry, and I will pray. Because although it does not come up in our conversations daily, its always on my mind because I love you, man how I love you…
Now this seems to be turning into a letter, and as I write, the names and faces of those I love flood my mind…and some blank pictures do too. The love and urgency I feel is not reserved for those I know personally, because this truth is for everyone.
Near the end of this apocalyptic movie there was a quote “The moment we stop fighting for each other, that's the moment we lose our humanity.”
So whether or not you think I should, I will fight for you!
J. Hill
The Clip that moved me
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Life is more than mountain top experiences, we learn from the hills, valleys and the journey....
I approach this blog to share my perspective as I experience life through the Hills and how I am being challenged by the process. Please weigh in if something moves you and share how you are navigating through the hills
J. Hill
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9 comments:
Wowzahs! Def intense but an awesome follow up to your initial post! #whowantitwitJ?!
However, now I feel like you're plottin' on me and my heathen self ::side eye:: lol
But seriously all jokes aside this is def one of those convos that can go on and on forever. Simply because no one will ever be on the same page. All you can do IS pray and hope that one day that the people you love will find their truth. That's what I pray for. :)
Loves it Deedee! Keep it up!
ummm so Im madd....I wrote a nice lil response and it didn't post...I usually copy things Im tryna post for this very reason, but i didn't #fail....what i kinda said was
I was on the fence about posting this because of how heavy it is and how early it is in my blog life, but i had to. I want me blog to be an honest reflection of who I am...the parts people like, and may not like as well.
As far as my relationships go, ulterior motive or not, I have genuine friendships..I just have hopes for my friends that they may not agree with..BOOM
Praying...*insert angel emotion*
AHHHHH what a cool entry (and blog :D).
i totally see your heart sista... reminds me of the time when we met that man in the park (ahhh i'm soo bad w/ names..). keep lovin' sista!! i see jesus in ya. :)
Beautiful Post! That movie had a similar effect on me as far as thinking about the "end" and what it means to me and my family and friends. I love the passion that you display in this post and your faith is inspiring.
Thanks Janille for this post. Your blog helps to reassure me that the same God speaking to you, is speaking to me. Keep up the blog--- it's a blessing.
So glad to be on this journey with you. I am inspired by the fight in you. Thank you for being a warrior in ways seen and unseen. I loved this..
@ Julia, thanx sis...the guys name was Manny btdub
@Nikki thank you. for me apocalyptic movies always makes me think of the urgency I should have for people who dont know God
@Debbie, I am glad that the blog has that effect, I was hoping that I would be able to inspire people by what I write...your comment was encouraging!
@ Saun thank you for joining my journey..rather rejoining the journey!
Janille,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I haven’t seen that movie, but know about the events it portrays and am familiar with other apocalypse type stories. Those are going to be some scary times. But I think the world now and in the last 2000 years has been scary. It’s how we choose to face it that really will affect the rest of our lives. I choose to live my life in hope. The opposite, obviously, would be fear. Now, I don’t know the reasons behind a lot of why things have happened in my life, but I know that there is a purpose for it all. I was raised in a typical, Midwestern, Christian home where my parents were married and we attended church every Sunday, including Sunday School, Sunday/Wednesday night services, chorus and “bible bowl”. Something was planted in my soul at a young age – the love of Jesus. However, I still grew up very fearful of everything – my surroundings, losing friends, making mistakes, the end of the world (as a matter of fact), developing a mental illness (runs in my family), always trying to be perfect yet never succeeding and even, dying before I had begun to live.
Now that I am an adult, I have actually lived through some of the hardest things you could imagine, things that I feared (divorced parents, death of a close sibling – wishing it had been me instead, coming close to divorce in my own marriage). And I have survived ONLY because I have hope. Hope that (to quote Jeremy Camp’s message) “there will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears. There will be a day when the burdens of this place will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face”
For the full lyrics, see http://www.songlyrics.com/jeremy-camp/there-will-be-a-day-lyrics/, or google “There Will Be A Day” to listen. It’s a beautiful song. And it’s my soul crying out.
This is what I want to say to people who don’t make any effort to find out the Truth… “I don’t know why there is suffering in this world, but there is. And I hope it never comes knocking at your door, but if it does, do you want to stand and face it on your own? Or have someone who promises that you will not be alone and will even carry you, when you can’t stand up against the pain? I understand that you will ultimately discover your own ‘truth’ and you need to be comfortable with that at the end of your life. But I also believe that Jesus Christ came to this broken world, to die for you and me and that it is THE Truth, not just A truth.” I could go on and on why but for sake of space, will refrain.
Maybe I’m just the type of personality that needs to depend on something larger than myself to get through each day, but I don’t know how to function any differently.
It’s not like I took what I was taught and said “oh it must be true, because they said so”. I searched, I studied, I learned about different religions and that’s how I ended up with a degree in religion. Never what I intended, but I was curious, so I made use of my resources at a Christian college and challenged, even disagreed with the teachers. But it has made me who I am and I will never stop trying to draw closer to Him, and He will continue to reach out to us no matter how much we run and push Him away. I’m forever grateful, that He will not give up.
I encourage anyone who has ever felt like “there must be something more” to ask those hard questions… He will find you, where and when you least expect it, He is there. And there are a lot of people out there, who care for you, even if you don’t think so, even if you don’t know them. And if you are one of the people who has never struggled, needed help or wanted for anything, I envy you – and it makes me yearn even more for Heaven.
So, Janille, I thank you again, for this forum, to share your thoughts and to get my thoughts flowing. So many more things I could share… But I’ve taken up enough space for one post. ☺ Best, Kim
I know I posted a novel above, but wanted to share this article that I read today. I found it appropriate for this topic.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-james-martin-sj/want-to-experience-god-yo_b_554708.html
Best,
Kim
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